


Not as much fun without Sharon

by notveryhandy



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23993278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notveryhandy/pseuds/notveryhandy
Summary: Would you like to go to Aberdeen?Thought not.Look, the Tardis is getting on a bit and just wants a nice chat, but apparently that’s a bad idea. Timestreams, anyone?
Comments: 7
Kudos: 10





	Not as much fun without Sharon

Bill stood up. “What the-”

”Sh,” the Tardis said. “I’m trying to do things.”

”Oh, look over there. Poor boy. That’s Adric, by the way. Sometimes I catch them when they’re dying. Dying is still a thing, right?” Bill nodded. “Um, yeah?” “Well, it’s the end of the universe, so I suppose there’s not much left to do, eh?” She paused again. “He was only a kid, you know.”

”Have you run into the one who keeps on insisting it’s the timelines?”  
  
“You mean Romana?” Bill asked. “Yeah, I’ve seen her. She vanished, though.”

“Oh, yes, Romana! I wonder if she’s still around. I wonder if she survived.” The Tardis looked pensive, and then moved on. “Are you from UNIT? One of the Brig’s old chaps?”

”What’s UNIT? Who’s the Brig? Who are _you?_ ”

”Oh, I’m the Tardis! Lovely to meet you. But oh, imagine not knowing the Brig! Sounds dreadfully boring, doesn’t it? Imagine not knowing Gordon. Now there’s a terrible name. Gordon. My thief never could remember it...” The Tardis trailed off. “Not knowing Gordon. What a frightful thought. I’ve been the Brig. We still had those universe-falling-apart situations,” the Tardis said. 

“What kind of name is _Tardis?_ ” Bill asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. Blame Susan, I suspect. Not that she’s here to be blamed.”

She smiled, but it was much like a child trying to pretend everything was okay, despite knowing deep down it wasn’t. “Imagine that, Bill.”

An unfamiliar voice rang out. “Oh my _god-”_

“Bill! Bill. How odd to see you again.” The strange man grinned. “I’m the Valeyard, in case you weren’t awa-” He froze. “How are you here? What are you doing here? You shouldn’t, you shouldn’t - old girl, this isn’t funny any more. Leave the dead to rest, yes?” He stood still for a minute, then swe,Ed to forget what he’d said.

“Baguettes are nice, yes?” The Valeyard stopped. “No, I’m doing it again. Again, again, again, again, aga-“ He seemed to be stuck in a loop. Odd. “Oh, sorry. Having a bit of a Donna moment. You know? Binary binary binary?” His face fell. “You don’t know. Nobody knows. Least of all Donna.”

He didn't seem to notice the Tardis, in the same room as him.

“They all go. Going, going, gone. That’s the way of things.” The Valeyard smiled, far gentler than she’d expected. “That’s life. Except at the end of the universe. Then, I suppose, it’s death.”

The Tardis spoke again. ”Have you seen them? No, I don’t suppose you have. Have you seen my Doctor? I haven’t seen my poor Doctor for so long. It’s just this dying shell and the Valeyard now.” She looked about to cry. “Bill, where’s my Doctor?”

  
The Valeyard grabbed her by the shoulders, eyes wild. “Have you seen them? My friends? Is there somebody there?” He was furious, and yet at the same time plaintive, pleading. “Even you, Master. Even _Brax._ Can’t believe I’m saying it, but I’m missing you.” He released Bill, and still didn’t seem to see her. “I... I miss you?”

“Have you seen cemeteries? I have,” the Tardis whispered. “I’m not sure I want to see my thief like that again.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Bill choked. “I can’t imagine...” No, that wasn’t true. She’d felt grief before. No point in worrying about the Valeyard.

“Crying,” the Tardis said. “I suppose anyone would be. Do you think I can cry, Bill? Do you think I should?” She, too, did not seem to notice anyone else in the room. “It’s not as much fun, is it? Not as much fun without Sharon...”

”Oh gods, I miss you, I really do. Come back, please. You can do that, can’t you?” It was odd, having two different conversations. Confusing. Bill was about to point it out to the Tardis herself, only-

Their eyes met: the very last of the Time Lords and the only Tardis remaining. Two of a kind, lingering on the edge of devastation, at the end of the universe. It was sad, it was beautiful, and it was not in Bill’s place to question what was happening.

The Tardis smiled. “Hello, my thief.”

The Valeyard’s voice cracked as he responded. “I had no idea you were even here.”

The Tardis quietened. “I’m not sure you are. You’re not my Doctor.”

“But I AM! Tardis, I am, I _swear_ I am.”

“Then call yourself the Doctor, you old fool.”

”I don’t think I’m the Doctor anymore.”

”Then I’m afraid I don’t know you.”

”How about we go somewhere? For old time’s sake?”

”Averdeen?”

”No.”

“Nobody ever wants to go to Aberdeen. Oh, I didn’t even live there! Like that’s an excuse,” the Tardis rambled. “Aberdeen’s gone now, so you don’t need to worry. So is whoever didn’t want to go there. Everything’s gone. Everyone’s gone. They all leave in the end.”

”I know. And we’re _not_ going to Aberdeen, because Aberdeen is Sarah Jane, and she’s...”

”Well,” the Tardis retorted, “the end of the universe is Clara! _And she died too!_ So there.”

The Valeyard stared. “Stop, stop it _right now._ It’s not funny, not anymore.”

”Well isn’t that an awful shame.”

Bill stared. “Uh, what’s going on?”

”Look at you, old girl. So quick to snap at me that you forgot our _guest._ She dies, as well. Happy now?”

”Guys, please can you tell me what’s going on?” Bill asked. “Seriously.”

”Be a dear, Tardis, and explain.”

”Well,” said the Tardis, “I was trying to call up an old friend. Any one of them. I landed on Bill, didn’t I? It was meant to be a hologram, but...”

”So you’re getting careless in your old age, and don't you know it.”

”Bill,” said the Tardis, gently, “it’s nothing pers-”

”So it doesn’t matter who I am, not really? Just that you have someone to get your Doctor back?”

”You know - knew - the Doctor, Bill. This is a good thing!”

”I don’t care! I just want to go home. Please?”

”Alright then.” She vanished, and the Tardis winced.

”Bit cheap, you know. Bit easy,” the Valeyard commented, only to be pushed onto the floor.

”Don’t,” said the Tardis. “Just... don’t.”

”I mean, not as cheap as,” he said, and then stopped. “What was I saying?”

The Tardis shrugged. “I don’t know. I never know, not anymore.”

She slumped down. “Don’t know anything. Are you my Doctor? Please, where’s my Doctor?”

The Valeyard shrugged. “If they mean so much to you, go find them yourself. I’m afraid I haven’t seen the Doctor for a long time. If at all.”

She sobbed. The Valeyard relented, just a little, dragging her closer into a tight embrace. It was uncomfortable, and painful, and not really a hug at all.

“Don’t trust a hug,” he murmured. “It’s just another way to hide your face.”


End file.
